Fortune Cookies -- Cats


As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.

Ellen Perry Berkeley


Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

Garrison Keillor


Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.

Joseph Wood Krutch


Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Jeff Valez


Cats aren't dirty, they're just covered with cat spit.


Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.

Joseph Wood Krutch


Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will pee on your computer.

Bruce Graham


Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.


Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Mary Bly


I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.


I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.

Hippolyte Taine


In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.


Long ago, there lived a creature with a voice like a vacuum cleaner. We know little about it, but we *do* know that it ate cats.


My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes.


One cat just leads to another.

Ernest Hemingway


People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Faith Resnick


Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.

Missy Dizick


The cat has too much spirit to have no heart.

Ernest Menaul


There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.

Anonymous


There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.

Albert Schweitzer


There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.


There may be more than one way to skin a cat, but you only get one try per cat.


Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.


Time spent with cats is never wasted.


You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats.

Colonial American proverb


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