Big deal! I'm used to dust.
Gravestone epitaph requested by Erma Bombeck
By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
Charles Wadsworth
Children are small people who are not permitted to act as their parents did at that age.
Josephus Henry
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
Phyllis Diller
Cleanliness is next to impossible.
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean, if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music.
Marcus Brigstocke
Every adult needs a child to teach; it's the way adults learn.
Frank A. Clark
Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist after he grows up.
Salvador Dali
Happiness is a having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns
Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
Martin Mull
I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.
Artemus Ward (1834-1867)
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
Robert Orben
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Clarence Darrow
The more you love your children the more care you should take to neglect them occasionally. The web of affection can be drawn too tight.
D.Sutten
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
Calvin Trillin
The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
Sam Levenson
The weirder you are going to behave, the more normal you should look... When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
P.J. O'Rourke
There are three ways to get something
done:
(1) Do it yourself.
(2) Hire someone
to do it for you.
(3) Forbid your kids to do it.
There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you.
Peter de Vries
There's nothing wrong with teenagers that reasoning with them won't aggravate.
We are all born charming, fresh, and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.
Miss Manners (Judith Martin)