A fanatic is a man who does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936)
A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
Oscar Wilde
An atheist doesn't have to be someone who thinks he has a proof that there can't be a god. He only has to be someone who believes that the evidence on the God question is at a similar level to the evidence on the werewolf question.
John McCarthy
Which branch of Judaism?
At an orthodox wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant. At a conservative wedding, the bride is pregnant. At a reform wedding, the rabbi is pregnant.
Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
Steve Wright
Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?
Jules Feiffer
During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity; in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution.
James Madison
Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
Ambrose Bierce
God said, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.'
Ann Coulter
Has God forgotten everything I've done for him?
Louis XIV
He who begins by loving Christianity better than truth, will proceed by loving his own sect or church better than Christianity, and end in loving himself better than all.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes.
Thomas Jefferson
I almost shudder at the thought of alluding to the most fatal example of the abuses of grief which the history of mankind has preserved --- the Cross. Consider what calamities that engine of grief has produced!
John Adams
I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly.
Albert Einstein
I don't believe in God, because I don't believe in Mother Goose.
Clarence Darrow
I think all the heretics I have known have been virtuous men. They have the virtue of fortitude, or they would not venture to own their heresy; and they cannot afford to be deficient in any of their virtues, as that would give advantage to their enemies; and they have not such a number of friends to excuse or justify them.
Benjamin Franklin
If 10% is good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for Uncle Sam.
Ray Stevens
If God were a liberal, he would have given Moses the Ten Suggestions.
If homosexuality were normal, God would have created Adam and Bruce.
Anita Bryant
If only God would give me a clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Woody Allen
It is not, my good friends, to heresy that I impute his honesty. On the contrary, it is his honesty that has brought upon his head the character of a heretic.
Benjamin Franklin
It's too early for a Polish pope.
Karol Wojtyla, two days before being elected Pope John Paul II
Jesus never heard of Beethoven and Bach. Why aren't we playing more country music in church?
Tex Sample, St. Paul School of Theology (Kansas City)
Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side.
Archie Bunker
Men think epilepsy divine, merely because they do not understand it. But if they called everything divine which they do not understand, why, there would be no end of divine things.
Hippocrates
Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Susan Ertz
Ministers say that they teach charity. That is natural. They live on handouts. All beggars teach that others should give.
Robert Ingersoll
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
St. Augustine (354-430 A.D.)
Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Don Marquis
Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.
Thomas Jefferson
Said the hot dog vendor to the Buddha, "Make me one with everything!"
Sundays are too precious to be wasted on prayer meetings when they could be used for mental culture.
Benjamin Franklin
The Christian Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same; but the medical practice changes.
Mark Twain
The Christian religion has been and still is the principal enemy of moral progress in the world.
Bertrand Russell
The Christian religion not only was at first attended with miracles, but even at this day cannot be believed by any reasonable person without one.
David Hume
The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
William Shakespeare
The only thing wrong with Christianity is that nobody's tried it yet.
H.L.Mencken
The time appears to me to have come when it is the duty of all to make their dissent from religion known.
John Stuart Mill
There is no difference between someone who eats too little and sees Heaven and someone who drinks too much and sees snakes.
Bertrand Russell
These are my opinions. If they were the Biblical truth, your bushes would be burning.
We have made the world a graveyard for Religion's sake.
Mark Twain
When even the brightest mind in our world has been trained up from childhood in a superstition of any kind, it will never be possible for that mind, in its maturity, to examine sincerely, dispassionately, and conscientiously any evidence or any circumstance which shall seem to cast a doubt upon the validity of that superstition. I doubt if I could do it myself.
Mark Twain
Where there is no religion, hypocrisy becomes good taste.
George Bernard Shaw
Why do born-again people so often make you wish they'd never been born the first time?
Katherine Whitehorn